Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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