when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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