i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize
