My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Floor bacon is actually really good
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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