Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
