I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
