i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
