just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize
