we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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