you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Ladies don't puke and tell
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
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