dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
