Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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