Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
