We're like a lot better than the average bears
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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