Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
