The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize