He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
