i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
