eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize