Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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