Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I need water and some morals
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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