She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize