Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
