Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
