Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
