Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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