he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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