I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
