is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
