That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
