Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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