Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
