My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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