People in love make me want to vomit
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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