Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
