Yo dont text me then not text me
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
When did angry sex become our thing?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Randomize
