Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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