You just made me feel so damn special
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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