i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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