She is in my trunk
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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