Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
