so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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