Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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