you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
