how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Randomize
