I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
