FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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