Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
