I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
