The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
