Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
there's paper in my vomit.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
