Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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