She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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