im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
When are your genitals available?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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