we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
