She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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