is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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