SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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