marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
wrigley field is MILF paradise
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
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