also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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