Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
