did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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